Why is the Christian God not a loving God?

This is the age-old question (although a good one) of the existence of evil. As a follower of Jesus...honestly I have no answer. I recognize the twistedness of alzheimers, of cerebral palsey and I have a friend with Multiple Sclerosis (he cannot walk or even move his hands). The brokenness all around us is very real. Through the suffering I've endured (both physical illness) and also profound emotional suffering in a family who do not function as a loving family the only thing I can say is that God has revealed Himself to me. I know His character and am becoming more and more confident of His love and His goodness. When others distort His character, say things about Him that are not true ...I know Him. This is such a difficult question and any pat answer would simply be stupid. Hope that this gets the conversation started.